JOKES

[spawner]

know any jokes post or just read here. also post comments

[DragonJC]

"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

"The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’ The operator says: ‘Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’

"There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: ‘OK, now what?’"

[scene9]

lmao

[Jive Turkey]

Ok, so two explorers are walking through the jungle, when all of a sudden they get ambushed by a group of pigmies. They are tied up and taken to the tribe chief. He makes his subjects tie them to poles in front of him. Then he asks them "You have two choices, death, or Pongo."

The first explorer says "I'll take Pongo, what ever it is."
So, a huge villager comes out and ass rapes him.

When the second explorer is given the choice, he says "I'll take death."

So the chief says, "Fine, death by Pongo."

[Ma!n3vEnt]

Originally posted by DragonJC@May 11 2005, 06:36 PM
"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed.

"The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps: ‘My friend is dead! What can I do?’ The operator says: ‘Calm down, I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.’

"There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says: ‘OK, now what?’"

LOL that was funny!

[Ma!n3vEnt]

Originally posted by Jive Turkey@May 11 2005, 08:16 PM
Ok, so two explorers are walking through the jungle, when all of a sudden they get ambushed by a group of pigmies. They are tied up and taken to the tribe chief. He makes his subjects tie them to poles in front of him. Then he asks them "You have two choices, death, or Pongo."

The first explorer says "I'll take Pongo, what ever it is."
So, a huge villager comes out and ass rapes him.

When the second explorer is given the choice, he says "I'll take death."

So the chief says, "Fine, death by Pongo."

O god that durty!

Uh oh double post! :ph34r:

[Jive Turkey]

Ok then

What do Charmin toilet paper and the startship Enterprise have in common?

They both travel around UR Anus looking for Cling-ons.

[i82muchatIHOP]

Haha, nice.

[player.1]

Little Kenny has his eighth birthday party with his friends at home and a magician turns up.

Kenny starts crying saying that it's embarasing and the magicians tricks are no good.

The magician seeing this says to Kenny "Stand up and I will show you a trick" "Now drop your pants"

Kenny does what he is told to do.

The magician stands behind Kenny.

The magician says "Kenny can you feel my finger up your arse ?"

Kenny replies "Yes"

The magician waves his hands in front of Kenny's face and shouts "Thats magic"

[i82muchatIHOP]

Questionable...

Anyways, here's one I like:

So this guy walks into a bar and says, "Gve me two beers."
The bartender serves him.

The guy looks into his wallet and says, "Give me two more beers."

So the bartender gives him two more beers. The man went on like this until he had put down ten beers, and keeps on going in his wallet and asking for two more beers.

So the bartender asks, "What's in your wallet that you keep looking at?"

So the man opens his wallet and says, "The more I drink, the prettier my wife gets."