 Christmas Eve in Brooklyn
'Twas the night before christmas
Da whole house was mellow,
Not a creature was stirrin',
I had a gun under my pillow.
When up on da roof,
I heard somethin' pound,
I sprung to da window,
To scream, "Ay keep it down!"
When what to my
Wanderin' eyes should appear,
But dat hairy elf Vinny,
And eight friggin' reindeer
Wit' a bad hackin' cough
And the stencha burped beer,
I knew in a moment,
Yo, da Kringle wuz here!
Wit' a slap to dere snouts,
And a yank on dere manes,
He cursed and he shouted,
And called dem by name.
Yo Tony, Yo Frankie,
Yo Sally, Yo Vito,
Ay Joey, Ay Paulie,
Ay Pepe, Ay Guido!
As I drew out my gun
And hid by da bed,
Down came his friggin' boot
On da top a my head.
His eyes were all bloodshot,
His b.o. wuz scary,
His breath wuz like sewage,
He had mole dat wuz hairy.
He spit in my eye,
And he twisted my head.
He soon let me know
I should consider myself dead.
Den pointin' a fat finga
Right under my nose,
He let out some gas,
And up da chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh,
Obscenities screamin',
And away dey all flew,
Before he troo dem a beatin'.
But I heard him exclaim,
Or better yet grump,
Merry Christmas to all, and
Bite me, ya hump!
__________________   Chuck Norris appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was
removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse
kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch." | 
